


To Dwell on the Past is a Dangerous Thing

by Absolutefandomtrash



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood Magic, Bottom Gellert Grindelwald, Dumbledore is hella gay for Grindelwald, Dumbledore tops in this one, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pensive, Pining, Spoilers, Top Albus Dumbledore, that was her aunt, that wasn't Professor McGonagall, there's a scene in crimes of grindelwald where two people slice their palms and perform blood magic, tw blood, tw drawing blood, tw self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 11:30:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16722510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolutefandomtrash/pseuds/Absolutefandomtrash
Summary: Post-CoG) Albus Dumbledore finds himself longing to take a trip down memory lane via the pensive in his office. An angsty excuse to write angsty gay wizards because the author has some serious FEELINGS





	To Dwell on the Past is a Dangerous Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I have literally bonded with complete strangers over the angsty pining in CoG so this is for them!

Tea with Newt was (unsurprisingly) less than cheery, what with Grindelwald having escaped with Credence and Queenie Goldstein under his wing and Leta Lestrange one of many casualties. Poor Newt couldn't even bring himself to ask about the Giant Squid. Their brief conversation led to the blood pact made between him and Grindelwald, which Albus answered to the best of his abilities without throwing something across the room. However, talking about it with someone felt... cathartic, in a way. Even though he said a lot of nothing.

After Newt left, he had some time to be alone with his thoughts. And the vial holding the blood of two of the world's most powerful wizards. He took out his own vial and placed them next to each other. Just thinking about the pact made his palm hurt. Neither of them had any idea what they were doing, but they did it. For the greater good.

Albus sighed. Somehow everything he did came back to bite him in some form of another, and a silly decision he made as a teenager was no exception. So he took both vials, placed them in his suit pocket, and walked over to his pensive. A beautiful gift from Professor McGonagall, who still kept trying to convince him to talk to her sister- her younger, unmarried sister that unbeknownst to her had plans to elope with the Herbology professor- when he came to Hogwarts that he had never had the use for. Until now.

He took out one particular memory and placed it in. To see what exactly they did, he told himself. For research. No pining, no self-entertainment, no nostalgic pining. Just to see what they did and how they did it. Nothing more.

The cool water enveloped him and drew him in, pulling him down. It reminded of the time he and some friends had attempted to learn how to swim by jumping in the lake; that wasn't an experience he enjoyed nor wanted to repeat. The feeling of drowning distracted him enough that he didn't realize that he had landed in the memory until he heard voices coming towards him. He looked up and-

Dear goodness, Gellert.

His brain stopped thinking about the blood pact, finding whatever they might have done and what loopholes he could invoke, anything but the two boys he saw in front of him. Specifically the blond one with mismatched eyes from the duel that got him expelled- now something that he knew was false- and the face that compelled anyone to watch, to listen, to believe every word that came out of his mouth. And looking at the auburn-brown-haired boy gazing lovingly at the blond, he knew that he never questioned the compulsion. He sidestepped the pair and followed them a few feet behind to a shed- the shed Aberforth kept the goat in and the one Ariana had an affinity for hiding in- and inside. Giggling like so many of the young girls he taught. Like young people in love.

He watched as the two pulled each other into a corner of the shed with a sad smile. He wanted to pull them apart, to keep Gellert away from his younger self, to tell him to stay away from the family, somehow stop them from making the pact. But he couldn't. He could only watch them laugh and smile and whisper together.

It was Gellert who produced the vials, with a promise that he knew what he was doing. Albus laughed and asked, "You know what you're doing with... what? Perfume?" which earned him a playful smack on the arm.

"I know what I'm doing, Albus!" His voice ran off his tongue in smooth, lyrical words. It hurt to hear this Gellert, his Gellert again.

"No you don't! You have no idea what you're doing, and we both know reading is not the same as practical application!" There was a sparkle in young Albus' eyes that betrayed his excitement. Gellert rolled his eyes and held Albus' arms.

"Okay, I don't know what I'm doing. But I know we can do it, if anyone can." Both Albuses looked at the soft, pale hands on his arms. The younger replied, "Really? Are you sure we won't somehow create a blood curse?"

"I promise, we won't. The worst that could happen is an Unbreakable Vow."

"Sounds like a bad worst-case scenario, Gellert. We could die if that happens."

"And we could die if we accidentally create a blood curse. What is your point?"

"We need more than just a 'Do you trust me?' and a smile. Give me more." Gellert leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. "More than that." But he was already placated. Both Gellert and the elder Albus could see from the way he leaned into it, the way he turned his palms up, the way he leaned into the other boy for another kiss.

"It's just a promise. A promise that we will not break. If we do, we will not die, but it will hurt a lot."

"So we shouldn't break it."

"Correct."

Albus kissed him again- briefly- and held his wand up. Gellert smiled and held his palm out as well. They each took their wands- couldn't use a knife, it had to be better than a normal pact- and made a vertical slice in their palms; then the palms touched each other, and they silently made their promise while drops of their blood mixed together in a permanent dance in two small silver vials. He paid attention to Gellert's face, knowing that his younger self was lost in the euphoria of practicing illegal magic with the person he was closest to. But now he could see the intensity of Gellert's gaze, the strange cocktail of callous observation, intensity, and affection written on his face. For a moment, Albus wondered if there was any way they could have worked together, to see that look in his eyes every day. Alas, it wasn't meant to be.

God, he had turned into an old sap before even reaching fifty. That was a special kind of sad he never though he would witness.

The two boys took their hands apart and stared at each other. Then Gellert kissed Albus, and he immediately responded by- unceremoniously- sticking his tongue in his mouth. It looked... much more awkward and uncomfortable than he remembered it. But they didn't seem to notice or care; they just continued to kiss and suck at each others' mouths like they were the only people in the world. It certainly felt like it at the time.

Albus was the one to take Gellert's shirt off, and the present Albus decided to leave before he would see too much. He remembered the event all too clearly.

He remembered feeling Gellert- all of Gellert- for the first time.

He remembered Gellert trying to take control of the situation- like almost everything else they did- and making him stay still with wet kisses.

He remembered how Gellert felt under him, under his hands, under his mouth.

He remembered how for once he was the one to make Gellert beg for him to slow down, he was going to fast and him ignoring every word out of his mouth and making him climix first.

He remembered after everything, lying on top of each other and panting, both realizing the weight of what they had done and not caring. They would be on top of the world, who could stop or judge them?

The memory swam around him, and he felt the pensive pushing him up and out until he collapsed on the floor of his office. So there weren't really any loopholes he could use, at least not from the initial ceremony.

But it was nice to see Gellert again.


End file.
